Progress

Based on a quote I saw circling the internet: “I am learning how to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me”

I am learning how to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me. The gentle close of a door on a chapter of my life no longer progressing the plot. I can feel true joy at my humanity, instead of cursing it. In this moment, everything I am and have is enough for myself. I do not need a lover to hold my hip like a crescent moon, or else I become a black hole. I do not need bow shaped lips to caress mine. I do not need a foreign hand to intertwine with mine like finger to trigger to temple. Even without you, I am not alone. I am within the universe, the universe is within me.

It isn’t always graceful, this feeling budding inside of me. Like the transition from winter to spring, one day I, too, will bloom. I will say, “She is beautiful and I am beautiful. The two are not mutually exclusive” and I will believe it. Do not forget, she may be white hot, blinding electricity, but I am cherry blossoms caught in a whirlwind. My hair may be plucked from my scalp, my brain a scattered mess of wrongly wired neurotransmitters, and my skin a map of battles once lost, but I am more than that. My crooked, too big smile is a mark of the sun. My uneven eyes, a flirty dance not yet seen. My lips, a tender song waiting to be heard.

Do not forget that one day, I will be beautiful.

 

Izzy

Please be breathing

When I reach your bed

Put my hand to your chest

Please rise and fall

Like the tides

Like the sun

Like a casket

Lowered into the ground

 

Skeletons in the closet

For a skeleton of a girl

I write your eulogy

While you’re still alive, barely

Think about what I’m going to say

When it happens

Before the razors slice the

Red string of fate

And you slip away

 

How many pills do you take

To make it okay

But you still dream of a different place

A world without you in it

Somewhere where you’re not scraping your insides

For the missing parts of yourself

Lost as a child

As you go careening off the tracks

And I have to watch you

Let go

 

Take my hand,

Isabella

Don’t be afraid

We’re going to a better place